3 Simple Steps to Obtain the Perfect Dancing Body
I have spent most of my life cultivating the perfect dancing body, and I thought it was high time I shared some of my documented and highly flouted research on how to obtain this most perfect dancing body with you, my beloved reader.
Please know, that these 3 steps have been tested on over a million micey subjects who were put through a rigorous series of dance explorations - in a maze no less - in order to determine if indeed, they could obtain a dancing body, and the results are in:
They did it.
All of them.
All 1,000000000000 mice came out of the maze with the most perfect dancing mouse bodies.
This fact alone gives me license to guarantee that you too can have a dancing body, if you just put your mind to it.
This is not for the faint of heart, so get your grit on ladies, and let’s get dancing!
(Music cue: That awful Justin Bieber song, What do you Mean starts playing NOW. Please don’t google it.)
Step Number 1:
To obtain the perfect dancing body: Dance.
Step Number 2:
To obtain the perfect dancing body: Dance.
Step Number 3:
To obtain the perfect dancing body: Dance.
No more talk about bikini bodies people.
This is the season for dancing bodies.
Pack up those strappy sundresses, and get out your wool socks, your soft pants, and your favorite t-shirt.
That's right, the one with the holes in it.
Get ready to work, and to work hard.
Here we go:
1. Lie down on the floor
2. Notice your breath.
3. Rest in your breath.
4. Rest in your body.
5. See where your body leads you, and what kind of dancing emerges from your perfect body.
If you fall asleep, that's okay with me.
Once you have done the hard work of dancing, watch your body instantly transform itself into the most dependable and trustworthy dancing body that you ever could've imagined.
To celebrate all of your hard dancing work, treat yourself to a hamburger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake.
Your dance mission for the week is to repeat this mantra 3 times, every morning before you get out of bed:
I have a body.
I dance.
I have a dancing body.
I have a perfect dancing body.
Some of you have asked how I come up with ideas to write this newsletter every week.
I have never known how to answer this question, before now.
This week’s deadline was approaching, and I had no idea what I was going to say, when all of a sudden a very friendly man gave me the perfect idea.
We were talking about what we both did for work.
When I told him I was a dancer, his response was: “But you don’t have a dancer’s body. How can you be a dancer?”
That was that, this week’s newsletter came on like a freight train.
And yes, I did treat myself, quite happily, to a hamburger, french fries, and a chocolate milkshake after that conversation.
Then I went to rehearsal and had a most fabulous time, dancing.
If you like what you just read, please share this newsletter on facebook.
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I would love to hear from you, so leave your thoughts here.
With Warmth and Jivey Vibes,
Joanna
of
Joanna and The Agitators
sweetly agitating/persistently upending
PS:
This current dance session is now FULL.
If you want to take class, email me and I will put you on the wait list for the spring.
PPS: SAVE THE DATES:
Thursday, Oct 8th-Saturday, Oct 10th at 7pm: Goodnight, Courtney Love in the Leisure Pool at The North Boulder Recreation Center.
Friday, Oct 23rd at 7pm: Work-in-Progress showing of a new solo I am working on (eeks!!) at Floorspace, 1510 Zamia, #101, in Boulder.
More details for both shows coming your way soon!
xo jo